god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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