You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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