so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize