We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
