just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
