I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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