WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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