I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
