grandma shit on top of the toilet
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
