Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
