Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
