It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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