Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
