just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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