Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
