K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
