We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Green mimosas i think yes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize