I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
