She's JV to your varsity
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize