I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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