all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
