is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
