You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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