drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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