Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Randomize
