I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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