God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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