from now on my penis is your penis
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
