remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
