the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
