Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
