AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
