My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize