you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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