But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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