Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
