We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize