just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
