there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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