well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
