I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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