I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize