hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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