Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
