i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
