What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
