I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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