he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
