I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
