why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
