Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
