So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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