Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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