i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
