did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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