Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
