then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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