I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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