he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
