my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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