Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My pussy is not your playground.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
