I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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